Kindom Hearts Gone Awry
by Sabam And The Bobo
Summary: In the REAL Kingdom Hearts,Sora had it easy ... no competition ... but now a new key bearer has emerged and a new trio has been implanted within the strange universe and this trio isn't good. *Pure humor*
1. In The Begining

Afroken: Hello hello my mignons! Do you want to see some blood and guts...in a FUNNY way?? Well you've come to the right story. My good friend Sam and I have written this for....vous. The story of Kingdom Hearts, ruined all by two young girls....innocent and sweet...but don't forget the fact they are PSYCOPATHS! Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: We own NOTHING. Not even CLR....And we are not insulting any overweight people out there....just for the sake of this story, that one little chunky ass child will be made fun of. Thank you.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------  
  
Kingdom Hearts--The Heist  
  
---On this small, insignificant planet...Earth...There were born two chosen ones....--- **Dramamtic music plays**  
  
---One a raving crazy nutcase...the other a evil genius bent on world domination...Lin and Sam...Enter Stage Left---  
  
**Lin and Sam are on the street making fun of a chubby kid**  
  
Lin: Haha! Lay off the puddin' cups chunky!  
  
Sam: Haha! You're faaaaaaaaaat...*Points and laughs*  
  
Lin: *Nudges Sam. And in a mocking voice* Ahem! Attention ! Attention! We have a lipo-suction patitent in desperate need!!  
  
Sam: *Cracks up*  
  
Boy: *Suddenly burts into flames*  
  
Lin: Holy shit! He spontaneously combusted!!  
  
Sam: Whoa...that was a BIG word for you Lin. *Pats her on the back* I'm proud of you.  
  
**The Flames turning into a GIANT dark....monster...thing...with and AFRO**  
  
Voice from beyond: The closer you get to the light the greater your shadow becomes...  
  
Sam: What the fuck? *Looks around* Who's there!?  
  
Lin: it's GOD! *Cries out of happiness*  
  
Sam: it's not God you asswipe!! *Kicks her in the ass* It's........I don't know who it is...but it's NOT God.!!  
  
Lin: oh...  
  
Voice from beyond: But do not be afraid...*The Monster thingy roars like a beast*  
  
Lin: I AM AFRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIID!!!!!!!  
  
Sam: *Screams*  
  
Voice form beyond: You hold the key....*Fades*  
  
Lin: Key? *Take sout her house key* I have my KEEEEEEEEEEEEYYY!  
  
Sam: Huh...wonder what that key is for.  
  
**Suddenly they sink into darkness. They get spun and twisted around. It all stops and they appear in the backstreets of Traverse Town**  
  
Lin: Whooooa...I think I'm gonna blow chunks....  
  
Sam: *Edges away*  
  
Rapists: *Slowly approaching them*  
  
Sam: Don't TOUCH meeeeee!!!!  
  
Lin: Take her first! HER FIRST!  
  
Sam: gee...some friend YOU are...  
  
Lin: yeah...I know. *Pats Sam*  
  
**Rapists get BLOWN up by a man in the shadows**  
  
Lin: COOL! More spontaneous combustion!!  
  
Sam: no you asshole!! It was HIM who gone and done it. *Sounds like a hillbilly*  
  
Leon: *Walks out* Thought you might need some help...  
  
Lin: *Whispers loudly to Sam* Is he hitting on us???  
  
Sam:..*gawking* I HOPE SO! hoo hoo!  
  
Leon: What was that?  
  
Lin: Uh..I just said...Did the cow hit the bus.....yeah....that's it..  
  
Sam: yeah and I said....I'm a stupid hoe..I MEAN! WAIT! NOO!  
  
Lin: *Cracking up*  
  
Sam: Oh shut your hole!  
  
Leon: Riiiiight.....I'll be going...now...  
  
Sam: *Clings onto him* Nooooooooooooo! Don't leave us! We're LOOOOOOOOOST! We don't even know where we are!!!  
  
Leon: *Points up big flashing screen that reads "You are in Traverse Town"*  
  
Lin: Now we do,...  
  
Sam: *Shuts her eyes* I can't seeeeeeee it!! So technically...I don't know where we are still! Mwhahahaha....  
  
Leon: Well...I could take you to a motel...  
  
Lin: Is it a cheesy trailer home park? Any chance by a street called 8 Mile Road?  
  
Leon: no...  
  
Lin: JUST wondering! *Innocent Smile*  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------- Afroken: So! That's how it all STARTS. Read and Review if you want a new chapter. but hey I'll put it up even if you don't want it. You buttmuches. I LOVE YOOOOUUUUU! 


	2. Traverse Town And Beyond

Traverse Town And Beyond

****

Lin: *Jumping up and down on the bed happily* WHEEEE!! *Bounces higher and hits the ceiling* Aaaaah … PAAAAAAIN … 

Sam: Beheheh … so anyways … *Turns to Leon and smiles* Hellooooo … anyways, what do you do around here??  *Raises eyebrows suggestively*

Leon: Well … I … actually, I'm one of those pointless characters that seem cold and heartless and then I give you items … and encourage you.

Sam: I know ONE way you can encourage me … *Winks*

Lin: Aww, poor Leon … he's useless … like monkeys.  MONKEYS ARE USELESS … but they make good traveling companions … they eat bugs off their own ass and yours … *Giggles*

**Aeris and Yuffie enter the room**

Lin: *Gasps, shrieks and points* OOOOOOHHHHHH … MYYYYYYYYYY …. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!

Sam: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! 

**Sam and Lin huddle into a corner and point in fear at Aeris**

Lin: SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!

Sam: SHE'S COME BACK, OHHH NOOOOOO!!!

Leon: Well … yes … anyways …

Aeris: Hi, pleased to meet you … *Smiles at Sam and Lin*

Sam: NOT PLEASED TO MEET YOU!!!

Lin: GO BACK TO HELL WHERE YOU CAME FROM!! *In Scottish accent* AND LEAVE THE RABBITS ALONE!

**Sora, Goofy and Donald enter**

Sam: *Shrieks ever more high pitched* OH MY GOD!

Lin: *Points* THE EVIL, THE UNBEARABLE EVIL!

Leon: Hey … that's strange … we've got two teams!  

Sam: What speaks of you?

Leon: Well, when I saw you I thought you were the supposed wielders of the key … but looks like he's got the one we're talking about …

Lin: *Holds up her house key* I have a key … *It glows very oddly*

Leon: Woah … that's some weird shit …

Yuffie: I agree … you know, they're probably going to have to face each other …

Sam: HAH!  We're going to BEAT YOUR ASSES IN, NO PROBLEMO, BUSTO!

Leon: Well … technically, I'd believe that … but you're supposed to be a team of three …

Sam: *Grabs hold of his arm* Listen fruitcake, you better clam it before I bust a cap in your ass … *Wiggly eyebrows*

 Lin: Hold it, hold it Sam … I have a better idea … *Evil glint in eye* GET HIM!!!

Sam; *Grabs a bat from hammer space and smashes him on the head* CONVERT, CONVERT YE HEATHING!  

Lin: *Takes out battery operated blow dryer* DON'T MAKE ME TURN YOUR HAIR ALL FLUFFLY-LIKE!!  *Points it at people in doorway* C'mon!  Get out of the way, git on da floor!

Sam: *In gangster voice* Listen y'all to us, dawgs, and no one'll get a hurting … 

**Everyone edges to the other side of the room as Sam desperately struggles to drag Leon out of the room and into the second district of Traverse Town**

Sam: Wooah there, been putting on some weight there, Leon … *Heaves*

Lin: I shall pray to the God of Peanuts and all things salty … *Starts chanting* Aid us make this tub of lard, fruit pie eating, obese hippo of a man turn into a MONKEY!

Leon: *Turns into a monkey*

Sam: *Gasps*

Lin: HE'S BEAUTIFUL!!  *Scoops into arms* And I shall call him Mr. Twiddles … and he shall be my Mr. Twiddles …

Sam: Mr. Twiddles, mhmm … right … *Looks the other way and gasps and points* SWEET JESUS OF NAZARETH!!! A SHIP!

Lin: MOSES OF EGYPT!!

Mr. Twiddles: *Still thinks he's Leon and tries to say something but it comes out as monkey noises, gasps … holds throat and cries like a monkey*

Lin: There, there Mr. Twiddles … *Holds him and gives him a peanut*

Sam: WE'RE GUNNA HIJACK OUR RIDE!!!

Lin: YAAAAAAH!

**They all head towards the gummi ship in anticipation and Sora and Goofy and Donald suddenly appear**

Sora: YEAH??  Well we're going to get a better ship than you and WE'RE GOING TO BEAT YOUR BUTT!!

Sam: Butt?  That is SO kindergarten!  

**Lin and Mr. Twiddles get on the ship and urge Sam to come in**

Lin: *At the wheel, in a low ecstatic hiss* Aaaah … my prrrreciiooouss … THE POOOOOOWER!!! *Suddenly all gangster-like* Yo monkey-man, this is my ride, y'all!  I'm going to ride it like a bitch …

Sam: *Had recently entered* No, no you really won't you SICK WEIRDO! *Smacks Lin*

Lin: *Sniffles* … yo ….

Sam: TAAAAAAKE OFFF!!! 

**Lin presses random buttons and sends them FLYING into orbit**

  
  
Authors' Note: Yeeeah, read and review or we'll do to you what we did to LEON!  AaHAHAAA, REVIEW!!! *Cough suddenly* Ew, FLEM …


	3. Alice In Wonderland

Alice In Wonderland

****

**Sam, Lin and Mr. Twiddles are falling down a deep, deep hole … deep hole.**

Mr. Twiddles: *Doing a 180 as they plummet towards an abyss* 

Lin: Aw … lookit him go … *Tries to flip and smacks on the ground in mid flip* OWIE!! *Begins to cry*

Sam: *Was the intelligent one and remained on her two feet* Oh come now … it's not like you have any brain cells to lose anyways …

Mr. Twiddles: *Screeches in all his monkey glory, bouncing and pointing at a posh-looking rabbit dressed in fancy clothes … with a pocket watch and glasses*

Rabbit: I'm late, I'm late, I'm so very very late!  The queen, she'll surely have my head for this!

Lin: *Gasps* RABBIT!!  *Points stupidly*

Sam: Noo … I thought it was a camel … *Sarcastically*

Lin: *Laughs* Ah … you're so stupid …

Sam: *Glares at her threateningly* SARCASM, YOU POTATO!

Lin: I'm not a potato, you eggplant!

Sam: *Eyes go as huge as saucers* Yeah well … you're a … a … AN UGLY TURNIP!

Lin: *Gasps* You bitch!!

Sam: You're a brussel sprout!!

Lin: CARROT STICK!!

Mr. Twiddles: *Just watches the strange argument about being vegetables*

Lin: LOOK!  You let the rabbit get away you beanpole, you!

Sam: Who the FUCK cares about the- *Something slams into her*

Sora: Thanks for breaking our fall …

Sam: *Nearly dead under the weight* Get - *gasps* THE FUCK OFF ME!!

Goofy: Hyuck-hyuck-hyuck!!  You're so funny, Sam …

Sam: I beg your pardon?  *Is brushing herself off angrily* I'll shove my foot so far up your ass that you'll lick the bottom of my shoe!!!

**All very, very quiet**

Lin: That's gross …

Sora: That's rude …

Mr. Twiddles: *Rolls his eyes and yells out incoherent monkey squeaks*

Lin: *Gasps* He's trying to tell us something?  What is it, Mr. Twiddles?  Did Tommy fall down the well …

Sam: NO YOU SHRIVELLED UP CUCUMBER!!  WE ARE THE ONES WHO FELL DOWN THE GODDAMN WELL!

Sora: I beg to differ, it's a rabbit hole!

Sam: BITE ME, FUCKER!

Lin: *Pats Sam* Now, now … this isn't the time to be angry.  Don't get mad … get happy …

Sam: GET LOST!

**After a five minute argument … they all decided to follow the tunnel out of the rabbit hole and they end up in the bizarre room**             

Donald Duck: QUACK-QUACK-QUAAAACK!! *Does the gay little noises that he does*

Sam: *Still quite pissed off* SHUT THE HELL UP!

Lin: *Points at the Heartless that are currently attacking them* LOOKIT!

Sam: *Eyes them happily* THERAPY HAS COME!! * Begins bashing them with her aluminum bat*

Lin: *Takes out her battery-powered hairdryer and pressed a button that is labeled 'Sizzlin' Hot'* BURN BITCHES, BURN!

Mr. Twiddles: *Begins throwing sand and biting crotches*

Donald: *Chucks a potion at Sora* HERE SORA! *In a stupid, duck voice*

Sam: *Takes the bat and thwacks Donald over the head* DON'T DO THAT, LET HIM DIE!!  DIIIIIIIIIIIEE! *Completely forgets about the Heartless and begins beating the shit out of the duck*

**After the Heartless are all defeated**

Lin: *Turns off her dryer* Can't waste the batteries, now can I … *Grins* Good ol' Energizer Bunny … it keeps going, and going and going and-

Sam: SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!

Donald: *Semi dead on the floor, stars rotating around his head* Q-q-uaaaaack …

Sam: *Grabs one of the potions on the table* MAHAA!  IT'S OURS!! *Goes off into maniacal laughter*

Lin: *Just smiles slightly*

Mr. Twiddles: *Hits his forehead stupidly and beings picking his nose*

Sora: Oh nooo … they have the only dose of potion that makes you go small!  Nooo … 

Sam: *Continues laughing*

Lin: *Whispers* Sam, you're starting to look like a retard …

  
Sam: *Shuts up* Yes well … *Drinks the whole potion and for some odd reason Lin and the monkey turn small along with her*

Lin: OUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEMS ARE ONE!! *In a squeaky voice*

Sam: STOP USING THAT VOICE!!  *In the same squeaky tone* NOOOOO!!! *High pitched scream as she claws at her throat*

Sora: I have an idea … let's STEP on them!

Sam: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! *Very, very squeaky tone*

**Sam, Lin and the monkey all run under the bed … and see a large hole from the wall … so they go threw it … and find a big, fat ass ugly queen in a strange retro dress sitting in her marble throne because no other material can support her fat ass.  The rabbit is playing the trumpet and guards (that are playing cards, might we add) are … guarding Alice the girl who went to Wonderland**

Lin: AHA! *Pokes a card and takes out scissors threateningly* Hee … *Begins cutting shapes out from him* This is a snowflake … this is … a banana … and this one is Sam! *Holds up a circle*

Sam: Fuck you!  *Ponders* Well … at least it's not a square …

Queen of Hearts: GUILTY!  YOU TRIED TO ASSRAPE MY GOAT!! *Points at Alice*

Alice: IT WAS TEMPTING MEEEE!! *Cries*

Queen of Hearts: LIES!!  ALL FILTHY LIES!!  OFF WITH HER HEAD!

Sam: Woah, woah, woah!  Lady, you can't just DO THAT!

Queen of Hearts: OFF WITH YOUR HEAD TOO!!

Sam: You missed my point entirely … What I was saying is that you just can't cut off her head because she's DIFFERENT!  

Lin: Sam, aren't you homophobic?

Sam: No comments from the peanut gallery …

Lin: Peanuts … hee hee …

Sam: As I was saying, Alice has the right here … to be into beastialism.  And she can't exactly assrape … at least … oh God …

Queen of Hearts: SHE HAD A STRAP-ON DILDO!!

Sam: *Puts hands over her ears* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! *High pitched scream*

Lin: It's ok!  It's ok … *Pats Sam on the head*

Sam: *Turns to Alice, disgusted* YOU'RE SO NUTTY YOU MUST SHIT PEANUTS!!  EEEEEW!!

Lin: Peanuts … hee hee …

Queen of Hearts: OFF WITH HER HEAD!!

Sam: Who's head is it now?

Queen of Hearts: Uh … well …

Lin: *Outburst* SHE'S FAT! *Points to the Queen*

Queen of Hearts: *Gasps, insulted* I'm JUST BIG BONED!

Sam: Oh yeah, I've heard that one before … big bones …

Lin: That's what I say about Rio … *Holds her fat kitty that came out of nowhere* Isn't that right monkey?

Mr. Twiddles: *Nods*

Lin: NOT YOU!  I was talking to Gopher … *Points at her fat kitty*

Sam: *Rolls her eyes* As I was saying … *Sees out of the corner of her eye that Lin is trying to shove her cat back in her pocket*

Lin: Get in … come on … *Whispers to cat*

Sam: *Continues* Well, as I was saying … you shouldn't cut off peoples heads JUST because they raped your goats …

Queen of Hearts: That's some sound reasoning you have there … *Ponders* OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!

Sam: You missed my point COMPLTELY!  *Sees guards coming at her* Uh-oh … uh … you want some fruit cakes?  *Offers the cakes* You look like the typical fat-arse to like these things … 

Queen of Hearts: *Drools* Gimme … and … you may go because you have offered me cholesterol … mmm … and take the girl with you …

Sam: Did I say I wanted her?  WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?  A HOMO?  A BABYSITTER?  Noo … you keep her here and you don't cut her head … I'm going …

Queen of Hearts: *Is gorging herself with fruit pies and not listening*

Sam: Let's get the shit out of here … 

Lin: Agreed … the leaves are talking to me … 

**A vacuum comes out of the sky and sucks Alice into it and then drives off**

Sam: Well then … that's the end of her … let's just get the hell out of here … our gummi ship awaits …

Lin: *Gasps* NOW THE FLOWERS ARE SPEAKING TO ME TOO!!

Authors Note: Haa … that's some crazy shit, un huh … REVIEW … or we send the flowers and grass upon you … OR WORST … MR TWIDDLES WILL COME AND BITE YOUR CROTCH …


	4. The Coliseum

Coliseum

****

Lin: *Enters through big double doors* What the shit?  This isn't Greece!  The Coliseum is in ROME!  Gosh darn it!  WE DOMINATED THE GREEKS, THEY WERE OUR SLAVES! *Obviously Italian, stands proudly with an Italian flag waving in the background*

Sam: Ahem … that's not the point.  The POINT is obviously that we got here BEFORE that other shitkicker, Sora!!  Fwuwahahahahaaa!  OUR GUMMI SHIP IS FASTER AND WE ARE STRONGER!  FWUAHAHAHAA!!

Mr. Twiddles: *Pulls her sleeve slightly and points at the double doors that have once again swung open*

**Sora, Donald & Goofy all walk in**

Lin: Awwww shit! *Snaps her fingers in defeat* BLASPHEMY!

Donald: *Duck voice* Quack quack quack, QUUAAAAACK WACK WACK WACKK!! 

Sam: … Yes … 

Lin: *Throws bread crumbs at him*

Sora: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM??

Lin: It's a duck!  *Continues chucking bread crumbs at him*

Donald: QUAAAAACKKKKK, QUACK WAK WAAAKKKITY WAACKK!!

Sam: OH SHUT THE FUCK UP!  *Takes out her aluminum bat and hits Donald in the knees* WE DON'T GET WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE SAYING!

Lin: *Scoops up the bread crumbs again* Well, if HE isn't going to eat it … than I will! *Shovels crumbs into mouth*

Mr. Twiddles: *Shoves his hand in the bag and begins to eat with Lin*

Sora:….that's not right..Those were on the ground! THE GROUND!

Lin: *Mouth filled with dirty bread crumbs* eh? Sho? Tashteh….

Goofy: Hawhawhaw! By golly-gee-whiz……gee….That's gross.

Sam: -_-; Okay!!! For SHIT'S sake! We are here for a reason!! I just can't remember it! *ponders*

Donald: QUAAAAACCCCK!!! *Points at Hercules*

Sora: Whoa! Donald found a gay Greek man! Let's go!  *unusually cheery about the subject*

Sam:….*eye twitches* homophobic sensors kicking in!!!! GYAAAAAHHHHHH!! *Smacks herself in the head, foams at the corners of her mouth and convulses*

Goofy:…uh..garsh, Is she gonna be alright? Hayuck! 

Lin: Oh she'll be fine! Just needs a good WHOOPIN', like one of those old time TVs! *Kicks her in the ass*

Sam: *Snaps out of it*….Thanks….I needed that! *Wipes foam away* Okay! Let's get going! *Lin, Mr.Twiddles and her run for the goatman*

Phil: Uh….May I help you? *A little frightened by the monkey in a tuxedo*

Sam: Yes you may my fat little hairy friend…We'd like to sign up for the tournament. 

Phil: No can do toots.

Sam: *evil eye* Do NOT call me toots, doughboy! Or I'll be shovin' those fruit-pies you gorge yourself on UP YER ARSE-HOLE!!!

Phil: o.o; r-right…..

Lin: Whyyy can't we join? You let them join!! *Points at Donald, Sora and Goofy as they enter the tournament doors*  You're not fair…

Phil: Hey kid, life's not fair. Deal with it! *Snorts at her*

Lin: *Lip quivers* Besides!! They're grosser than we are!!!

Phil: Oh? *Looks at the monkey who is picking his nose. He inspects it and then eats it.*  Ugh….*Cringes*

Lin: Heehee! Wait till you see him do it with his tongue! So talented!! *Chippy laughter*

Sam: Lin! That's personal info your giving out there….Besides…it's much more amusing to see him do it to his ass! 

Phil: Ugh! *Cringes more* That's fucking nasty!!

Lin: …So..NOW will you let us join?

Phil: Why the hell would I do that?

Lin: Cause you got to see Mr.Twiddles trick free of charge!

Sam: Damn right! Now let us in!!

Phil: No.

Sam: Yes.

Phil: NO.

Sam: o.O YES!

Phil: NO!!!

Sam: I'm gonna KILL YOU and make SOUVLAKI outta your grass-grazing-ass!!!!

Phil: *Cringes yet again* Ugh..ya know what? I thi-

Lin: No! We don't know what!!! Why don't you TELL us?!?!

Phil: O.o….I was going to….

Lin: LIES!!! Your in it with the Sattelites!!!! AND THE EARWIGS!!! *Points accusing finger at him*

Phil: *Whispers to Sam* I think you might want to seek some SERIOUS help for this cookie….

Sam: Nah..she's a hopeless case…

Phil…Right. AS I was TRYING to say! I'm going to let you in because you guys freak me out…Especially that DAMN monkey! Why is he in a tuxedo anyways?!

Lin: Cause he looks snazzy…

Mr.Twiddles: *Smiles*

Phil: Go….just go…..*Hangs head*

Lin: WHOO!! *Picks up Mr. Twiddles and skips in* WE GOING TO THE SHIP, WE GOING TO THE SHIP!

Phil: …. What did I just do?

Sam: Maa … you won't live to regret it.  I've taken liking to that souvlaki idea … heh heh … *give him an evil look and proceeds to the lobby*

Sora: HAH, we're the BESTEST BEST BESTEST BEST!

Sam: Anything you can do I can do better! *Sing songs* I can do anything better than you!

Sora: NO YOU CAN'T!

Sam: … Fuck yes, I fucking can.  

Sora: FINE, BE A POOFACE …

Sam: Fine … be a SHITface … 

Sora: *Pouts* You used a mean word …

Sam: Yeah, well you're ugly … we've got some ass to kick so SAYONARA!  *throws a towel at him that seems to have come out of hammer space*

Sora: What the poo?

**Sam, Lin and Mr. Twiddles are in the ring … awaiting their opponent.  Cloud with mysterious wing sprouting out of his back and a shadowy figure is in back of him**

Lin: *Sniffs* Smells like … store-bought shit …

Sam: And you would know this why?  However … it does smell kinda rank …

**They eye Cloud suspiciously**

Sam: HAA, HE'S SHITTING HIMSELF ALREADY!  Bwahaha … *takes out aluminum bat* FEAR US, FEEEEAAAAAARRR US!

Cloud: *Ignores them* Presenting my WONDERFUL ally … THE RUBBER POOP MONSTER!!!

**They all look towards the shadowy figure.  To find … that it's a big blob of cheap ass shit that has tiny arms and instead of legs … a wheel.  Yes … he is a big pile of shit with a seemingly unicycle shoved up his ass (Created by: Lin – doesn't that explain everything?)**

Sam: AW, LOW BLOW!!  FIGHTING WITH POO?  Mr. Twiddles could do better than that …

Cloud: Oh yeah?  SHOW ME!

Mr. Twiddles: *Grabs sand and throws it in Cloud's eyes and as his foe is temporarily blinded he runs and bites him in the crotch*

Cloud: *Eyes well up with tears* Oooh … *Falls over, his one wing wrapped around himself*

Sam: BEAT YOU!

Rubber Poop Monster: *In deep, deep voice* I AM THE GREAT MIGHTY POO, IF YOU BUG ME I'LL THROW MY SHIT ON YOU!

Lin: Um … not quite … *Takes out a battery operated hair dryer* 

  
Sam: AH GAWD, This isn't the time to be styling your hair, Lin!

Lin: No, no … don't worry.  *Points it threateningly at RBM* I WILL DRY HIM UP UNTIL HE IS A DRIED UP LITTLE … TURD MAN!

RBM: NooooooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooo!

Sam: YEEEEEEAH!

Mr. Twiddles: *Claps and makes monkey noises … like monkeys usually do … because … they're monkeys … and Mr. Twiddles is a monkey … well, sort of.  Mr. Twiddles is a monkey but first and foremost he is a human called Leon … that turned into a monkey … and henceforth, he is licensed to make monkey noises.  Point finale.*

Lin: *Dries up the turd* FWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

RPM: NOOOOooooOOOoooOOOoooooooOOOOOOoooo … *falls over, shriveled up the size of a chicken turd … because he is after all a turd.  Well, sort of, he is a turn riding a unicycle that is shoved up his ass … but it all comes down to the fact that he was the result of a bear squatted in the woods, pushin' brown.  So he is allowed to look like a turd that is shriveled up … because he's a dried up turd …*

Lin: WE WON THE SHIP, WE WON THE SHIP, WE WOOOONN THE SHIIIPPP!!!

Sam: SHUT … UP!!!

Authors Note: *Sigh* Five pages of PURE SHIT … IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD!!  HAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAA …. Ahem … READ AND REVIEW!


End file.
